


Awake

by LetMeEntertainYou



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Gen, Paraplegia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 20:12:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18818170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetMeEntertainYou/pseuds/LetMeEntertainYou
Summary: It has a mode that some would call autopliot. The person is essentially clocked out, but the brain keeps the body going. You do your routines, go to work, talk to people, react appropriately, make jokes. It does everything flawlessly. The only thing is that you’re not there to remember a single thing.





	Awake

**Author's Note:**

> My blog is Disabled-Queen-HC on tumblr  
> Anon asked: Queen get into a bad bus crash while on tour but miraculously make it out almost unharmed - except for Brian who ends up with a spinal injury and wheelchair bound. He is lucky in a way though because his injury only affects his legs so he can still play. He wants to believe that he can find a way to keep performing even without being able to walk but is scared that the others won't want him anymore. Plus he struggles with adjusting to his new situation, both in professional and in personal life.

The human brain is a weird thing.

It has a mode that some would call autopliot. The person is essentially clocked out, but the brain keeps the body going. You do your routines, go to work, talk to people, react appropriately, make jokes. It does everything flawlessly. The only thing is that you’re not there to remember a single thing. 

Brian felt like that after the bus crash. He did the surgeries, talked to the members, listened to his doctors, all while not being mentally present.

It should have been obvious by the way he took the news. He just nodded, lips pursed. He asked a few questions and that was it. Not a single tear shed or devastated cry.

Most people diagnosed with paraplegia have a earth shattering moment of crystal clear reality, but Brian was far gone. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, Brian was curled up, asleep, shielded from the truth.

It’d be months before he woke up.

And in the months, he did a lot. He did physical therapy to strengthen what movement he did have. He got fitted with a wheelchair. His house was renovated to be accessible. He got follow up surgeries. He took the medicines. He learned how to physically live with his new body.

All the while he had a smile on his face, but it never reached his eyes. Nobody noticed. They were always more focused on his legs, growing skinnier by the day.

Once everything had calmed down with his health, the band met up to talk about their future. John’s arm was still in a cast from the break. The scars on Freddie’s face from the glass where lightening, almost invisible by now. Roger had his leg propped up, his ankle cast traded in for a weight bearing boot.

And Brian was in a wheelchair.

Brian was in a wheelchair.

Brian was in a wheelchair and he would never get out of it.

_**Brian was in a wheelchair.** _

It felt like his brain had snapped back like a rubber band.

Memories came rushing back in disgusting clarity. Every sensation vibrated painfully against his skin and spine. Every conversation replayed itself at the speed of light in his head. Every word and prognosis from the doctor flashed before his eyes.

Every one would heal and move on but Brian wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t ever.

Brian clutched at his chest, the air seemingly sucked out of him. He wheezed and gasped, body beginning to violently shake. His eyes spilled over with tears that felt pent up from the months he spent ‘asleep’. He let out a strangled growl, one that should’ve been let out long ago.

The members crowded around him, hands flying to his forehead, rubbing his shoulders, petting his hair. They asked if he needed an ambulance, if he needed fresh air, if he needed- Brian couldn’t hear any of it. Everything was a blur, words sounding like they were being spoken 10 feet under water.

Roger took it upon himself to kneel down and hug Brian. He squeezed the other, hands firmly against his back. Only then did Brian spring back to the present, melting into the hug, a mess of cries and blubbers.

It took hours for the band to calm Brian down. Only then could he explain everything. The daze he had been in. His new found fears and worries. His concerns for the band’s future.

Freddie held Brian’s sweaty hands in his own tightly. He stared into reddened Hazel eyes and said, “Darling. Whatever you want to do, we support. But don’t think for a single second that we wouldn’t turn the earth upside down to fit you back in. That we wouldn’t fight tooth and nail to make you comfortable. And don’t even begin to believe that we don’t want you here,” a small smile twitched at his lips as he continued, “Johnny boy over there kept having nightmares you wouldn’t come back,”

John blushed but nodded.

Freddie brought their hands to his chest, head tilted. “Brian. Take all the time you need to finish healing your heart. We’ll be waiting for you. Okay?” he finished, eyes sparkling.

Brian found himself tearing up again, for different reasons. He looked at the other 3, in different states of disrepair and he began to trust Freddie’s words.

They stood true to their promise. Brian continued his journey to recovery, physically and now mentally. He worked on his mental health and physical strength. He finally picked up a guitar and felt a rush of joy he hadn’t experienced in what seemed like centuries.

It was only then he knew what he wanted to do.

And when he rolled himself into Freddie’s house, they were all there, welcoming him with open arms.

It took weeks of planning and ordering special equipment, but they did it because Brian was a vital part of Queen and they’d waste no expense in getting him back on stage.

And when the day came, nearly a year and half since the whole fiasco began, he was ready. Confident and prepared.

John stood behind his chair, peering out onto the stage. He asked quietly, “How are you feeling?”

Brian took in a deep breath, missing the screams of the crowd, the lights, the loud speakers. He held his guitar in one hand, the other steadied on a wheel, ready to roll out when the stage manager gave them the cue.

He looked back to John and with a smile said, “I’m happy to be awake,”


End file.
